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aveugle

by

russell chartier

Year of production: 2014

1 likes, 0 dislikes

aveugle (2014) Audio/ Video, Russell J Chartier
aveugle {m/f} - sightless person, adjective
This piece chronicles my last commute home after loosing my job of over 10 years.
The imagery depicts the frantic, disconnected thought processes that consumed me at the time of it's creation. The audio depicts the "rational" side of my brain searching for solutions. (complex math equations spanning to suicide and everything in between) No matter, I can't string 2 thoughts together.
Although the thoughts and feelings that I felt at the time of making this piece were at their pinnacle at this moment, I had been living with these thoughts and feelings for quite some time and they all insisted on being addressed at this exact moment.
The piece was made immediately after arriving home and I was unaware of it's meaning before later reflecting on it. It is the culmination of varied thoughts and emotions excreted involuntarily and without thought.
Everything is falling apart so fast, ocular stimulation is too fast for my mind to process, I can only find singular images and try to recreate reality by remembering in-cohesive images of what I believe I have perceived and attempt to reassemble their order to create a timeline.
......Inanimate fault line, lifeline, ... Lifetime.... ivy league refined decline....It's as fictitious as the rest.
Sounds are heard within my head, they ring outward without an external source and depict thoughts of suicide, - splashes, driving my car into the ocean, thoughts loud and piercing like gunshots that insist upon gunshots to silence them.
This accurately depicts the culmination of thoughts that have compounded and increased like a feedback loop within my mind over these times which are yet to processed. The sum total of my failures, indiscretions arranged thematically in a disconjointed, driftless montage of imagery - glimpses of reality ,diluted with mania and looming auditory hallucination.
Pretty like diamonds falling from the sky, refracting reality, prisms of fantasy that break and divide you.
There's nothing left to break, nothing tangible or real, fragmented prisms that collect your thoughts and repurpose them to destroy you and entice you. Flashed fast and filthy like fiction, recreating diction for an imagined audience. Refracted and detracted, devastated and elated...saline for the soul, the residue of reason.
Paint a pretty picture on the bullet, get to know it, take it out to dinner.... Maybe it exists between frames of perception, not detected ocularly, maybe I'm missing something. .....
Maybe I can reason with it.......
Aide-toi et le ciel t'aidera. I was always told that. That reflection of ignorance and perfection, proposed and disposed, opened and closed, clothed and disrobed in invented assembly.
.....Glistening off falling diamonds.
Deviate distractions, comprised culminations, utter devastation, It was a brief glimpse, yet beautiful and I truly hope that it's image will be burned into my retina as a tribute to my obliteration, sleeping, blind, broken ....but I saw something beautiful . There was that.
vivre par l'épée, mourra par l'épée,.....marry it, dress it up so it looks beautiful when it devours you, paint it with a blind eye , Stare it in the eye when it watches you in judgement........, I'm glad it's not a double feature....
Finis
aveugle.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Keywords: russell chartier, time lapse, video art, videoart

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